Many people recognize that the Five Books of Moses, the Torah, contain multiple examples of behaviors we should learn and emulate. However, they fail to notice that every person mentioned in the Torah has misbehaved, and they agonize over misbehaving children. For instance:
Even the best humans misbehave
The Torah criticizes Adam and Eve, the first humans, examples of their descendants, for eating a forbidden fruit.
Nachmanides berates Abraham for lying about Sarah, his wife, saying she is his sister to save his life.
Isaac, the second of the three patriarchs, exemplars of Judaism, favored Esau when he should have liked Jacob better.
Jacob, the third and last patriarch, rounds out the list by showing that he, too, misbehaved by giving preference to Joseph. This caused family jealousy and resulted in the Israelites being enslaved in Egypt for over a century and many deaths.
Not only the three patriarchs but even their wives, the four matriarchs, misbehaved. Each acted contrary to their husband’s wishes. Abraham’s wife Sarah forced Abraham to evict his son Ishmael, whom he loved. Rebecca, Isaac’s wife, tricked her husband into blessing the son she liked rather than the son Isaac preferred. Jacob’s two wives, Rachel and Leah, conspired together to deceive Jacob and cause him to marry Leah first rather than his beloved Rachel, resulting in Jacob having to work for Rachel for seven years.
Moses, “our teacher,” blasted the Israelites just before he was to take them into Canaan. God saw that this showed Moses was no longer the man to lead the Israelites into Canaan, told him to appoint Joshua as his successor, and killed him.
Moses’ brother Aaron built a golden calf for the Israelites to worship when Moses was absent. It resulted in over a thousand people being killed.
Children of worthy parents reject the ways of their parents
Two of Aaron’s sons, who were priests, brought unauthorized fire on the altar and were killed for what they did (Leviticus 10:1).
“Our teacher” and “lawgiver” Moses’ grandson and descendants worshipped idols. This is stated in Judges 18:30, “There (in the city formerly called Laish) the Danites set up for themselves the idol, and Jonathan son of Gershom, the son of Moses, and his sons were priests for the tribe of Dan until the time of the captivity of the land.” (The Masorites placed the letter nun above the name Moses, hoping to mislead people from realizing the embarrassing phenomenon that Moses’ descendants rejected God and would read Monases rather than Moses.)
Two lessons should be learned from these two Hebrew Bible revelations
- The Torah wants us to know that all people, even the best among us, are not perfect. So, if we do wrong, we should learn from our mistakes, resolve to change, and develop habits that train us to be better. These are the steps suggested by Maimonides.
We must also be ever vigilant. There are many stories of people who behaved bravely and praiseworthily until their old age when they did wrong. An example is Moses’ sister Miriam, who saved his life shortly after his birth but eighty years later criticized him for which God struck her with leprosy.
In contrast, there are tales of wrongdoers who performed worthy acts in later life. An example is Reish Lakish (circa 200-275) who was a thief but later became one of the two most learned rabbis of his generation when he joined with his brother-in-law Rabbi Yochanan ben Nappaha (circa 180-279). Another is Rabbi Akiva (killed by the Romans in 135), an ignorant shepherd until his wife persuaded him to attend school when he was forty, ultimately becoming the teacher of millions.
- We should not despair if our children do not do what we taught them. Parents do not have total control over children and should not feel guilty. We are only expected to do all that is reasonable.
I think it’s just a wonderful story. Look how they turned against each other and turned against God. It explains why are we so angry at each other. Why does husband blame wife and wife blames husband? Cain killed Able — that explains everything. People kill each other. And they tell the bad stuff. What other religion’s holy book tells the bad stuff? What other holy book starts off with your first family — and look at Abraham and Sarah, it tells all the dirty stuff — stuff you’d hide!
We agree.
But, don’t you Israel disagree; that we must lie rather than embarass someone isn’t the torah going against proper conduct by revealing someone’s dirty clothing?
Good point. We should always seek the truth. But sometimes white lies like, “She is a beautiful bride,” and noble lies, also called essential truths, like “God becomes angry if you misbehave,” are necessay.
Is the torah a source of evil, since it reveals someone’s personal dirty laundry?
Should we really know how Abraham pimped his wife?
The story teaches that we all make mistakes.
Wouldn’t Jews rather die than embarrass someone to death?
I would.
I would rather take my life than embarrass someone to the point where they think suicide is a reasonable answer to their problems.
it feels uncharacteristic of God to embarrass Abraham in this way.
The rabbis taught that embarrasing another person is like murder. They also stressed that suicide is wrong – God gave us a beautiful world and wants us to enjoy it. Socrates had no choice. He was forced to commit suicide. But he was not afraid of dying. His student Plato tells us that he told his companions that either death results in him going to a better life or it is nothingness – in either event there is nothing to fear. This is intelligence.
Sorry, i always double check something as Maimonides would; to ensure that i get the truth of the matter
You do what is right, accept only after verifying.
Dear Rabbi Israel Drazin ! It is true that parents should not despair if their children do not do as taught. There are many other factors that influence a child’s behavior and choices, including their own individual personality and external influences. Parents should fulfill their duty by providing guidance, education, and support, but they cannot exert total control over their children’s actions. The main responsibility is to take all reasonable steps to help their children make good choices, but ultimately the children are individual beings with their own will.
The whole context of your text suggests the importance of constant vigilance in maintaining ethical conduct throughout one’s life. Age does not make one immune to potential missteps; classic Jewish texts emphasize moral behavior and accountability regardless of age and past actions. Even in old age, individuals are capable of behaving in ways that deviate from the righteous conduct they may have demonstrated throughout their lives. This highlights the need for constant vigilance and self-assessment to maintain integrity and righteous behavior throughout one’s life.
According to the teachings of the Talmud, perfection is not expected from humans. Even the best among us are liable to make mistakes. What’s important is the desire and effort to correct these mistakes, strive to become better individuals, and to learn and apply moral lessons in life. The discussions in the Talmud emphasize the process of constant learning, self-improvement, and the repeated practice of moral lessons and prayers for them to take effect. Furthermore, it calls for the judgment of individuals to be fair and balanced, acknowledging the complexity of human behavior and circumstances. The teachings also remind us of our responsibility to the community in terms of bearing honest witness and helping others among other duties. Best: stephen
We are in complete agreement.