Tzvi Adams sent me the following in response to my last posting.

You may want to read these two writings.

 

R. Avraham HaNassi of 11th century Spain wrote same: 

http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9428&st=&pgnum=127

 

A great paper on this by Natan Slifkin: 

http://www.zootorah.com/RationalistJudaism/What%20Can%20One%20Do%20For%20Someone%20Who%20Has%20Passed%20Away.pdf