A man dies. God summons him and the man appears glowing with pride, certain he had lived the life God wanted him to live.

“Did you enjoy the many joyous things I placed on earth for you,” God asks.

“God forbid,” answered the pious man. I made sure that I didn’t partake of a single one of them. I spent my life thinking of you.

God reached forward and slapped the man across his face.