Reaction to my last posting
Tzvi Adams sent me the following in response to my last posting. You may want to read these two writings. R. Avraham HaNassi of 11th century Spain wrote same: http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9428&st=&pgnum=127 A great paper on this by Natan Slifkin: http://www.zootorah.com/RationalistJudaism/What%20Can%20One%20Do%20For%20Someone%20Who%20Has%20Passed%20Away.pdf